Sportress of Blogitude


Bill Simmons vows to eat something disgusting if Raiders make playoffs

Bill Simmons laid it all out on the line this week when discussing the prospects of the Oakland Raiders qualifying for the playoffs in Jon Gruden’s first year back running the show. And let’s just say the outspoken and oft-outlandish sports talking head finds said prospects remarkably slim, to say the least.

Simmons vowed to eat something profoundly disgusting during Wednesday’s edition of the “Guess the Line” podcast with Cousin Sal should the Raiders somehow reach the postseason.

“If the Raiders make the playoffs, what’s the most disgusting thing I could eat,” Simmons said. “You know what, I’ve always swore that I’ll never eat testicles. Those, like, the brains, you know, like cow testicles are a delicacy. I’ll eat testicles on the podcast. And they can be human testicles, cow testicles, I’ll eat some pair of testicles on this podcast if the Raiders make the playoffs. It will never happen.”

Um, gross.

That said, stranger things have happened in the NFL and the league’s unpredictability from season to season is among its hallmarks. Though, the Gruden-led Raiders made some curious decisions this offseason, from trading a generational talent in Khalil Mack to constructing one of the NFL’s oldest rosters. Qualifying for the postseason will be an uphill climb for the Raiders, to be sure.

And speaking of never happening, odds are Simmons would figure out a way to get out of making good on his promise if the Raiders do indeed make the playoffs. One could scarcely blame him, actually.

Still, a bet is a bet, so if things play out in a bad way for Simmons, there would not be a more suitable server for his disgusting feast than one Jon Gruden. And Chucky would be thrilled to serve the dish with a smile for sure. Rocky Mountain Oysters, perhaps.