Sportress of Blogitude

D-backs reliever Archie Bradley admits to gross bathroom-related mishap

Arizona Diamondbacks relief pitcher Archie Bradley actually admitted during a recent appearance on Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast to suffering a profoundly embarrassing “accident” right before entering a game this season.

Bradley revealed the details of a situation where just before being called out for a relief appearance, he needed to relieve himself in the bathroom. Then something happened that one would think a person would never reveal to another human being, let alone announce on a nationwide podcast:

Given there really is no real delicate way to explain what happened to Bradley, here goes: He pooped his pants.

“I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Bradley said to Yahoo Sports.

“So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually [expletive] my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh My Gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning, and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just [expletive] myself.’ They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like ‘Oh my God, you had to see this.’”

There you have it, folks. Clean inning, Bradley said. At least in one way.

If there has even been a more appropriate time to rely upon the old “Too Much Information” line, Bradley’s scatological mishap would be it.