Sportress of Blogitude


Cleveland sports anchor mocks every NFL draft cliche in the book (vid)

Covering the National Football League is now a full-year enterprise thanks to wall-to-wall analysis, breakdowns and speculation about anything and everything football-related under the sun. Minicamps, combine, free agency, the weeks before free agency, OTAs, training camp previews … the list goes on and on.

Said coverage of course is littered endless bloviating from a seemingly endless array of talking heads on network after network, website upon website and so on and so forth.

As such, especially leading up to the annual NFL draft, one can expect to hear the same thing over and over and over again. This is especially true when it comes to the overuse of every draft-related catchphrase, cliche and trope.

Well, thanks to Tony Zarrella, the sports director for Cleveland 19 News, some of the best — and most annoying — draft cliches can be found in one place.

Zarrella brilliantly lays waste to the overwrought, mind-numbing nature of excessive draft analysis in a segment lasting just over two minutes. He starts the segment with the following brilliant opening: “You’re going to hear a lot of familiar terms to describe players that mean absolutely nothing. They’re stupid cliches. And even worse, in some cases, racially insensitive, and just plain wrong.”

And it only gets better from there.

Among the highlights, as noted by CBS Sports’ Will Brinson:

“‘Good at the point of contact’ — kind of an important place to be good in the game of football,” Zarrella says.

“At running back you want a ‘downhill runner’ … are there any uphill runner?” Zarrella asks.

Brilliant! Kudos, Mr. Zarrella. The only thing that would have made this segment better is if Zarrella had managed to sneak in a “Boom goes the dynamite!” into his piece. No reason, really. It just would have been funny.