Sportress of Blogitude

Atlanta Braves’ ‘Everything Dog’ is culinary nightmare fuel (pics)


The Atlanta Braves, as is the case with most major league outfits, roll out new foods to tempt fans at concession stands ahead of each season. And the case can be made that the Braves are the proverbial leaders in the clubhouse given the new gastronomic offerings that will be made available at their home ballpark over the summer.

Outrageous ballpark fare obviously isn’t a recent phenomenon. And as it has been proven time and time again, the conventional wisdom with new ballpark offerings tends to be “Bigger is Always Better,” a philosophy emboldened by the belief that there is nothing too strange when it comes to concession stand fare.

To wit: Behold, The Everything Dog.

And when they refer to it as an “Everything Dog,” boy do they mean it. This bad boy of a gut bomb features a foot-long all-beef hot dog covered and smothered in Coca-Cola-infused barbecue sauce chili, popcorn, tortilla chips, beer cheese soup, jalapeƱos and french fries, all crammed into a pretzel bun.

The mad scientist chef who came up this thing clearly doesn’t understand the concepts of restraint and understated when it comes to dreaming up food items.

But The Everything Dog isn’t the only new item, as it’s made abundantly clear that if the world has ever needed a ginormous burger housed between two pizzas, it’s now, friends.

Behold the Burgerizza.

And how about a Monster energy drink-infused barbecue sauce that tops the new rib sandwich known as The Punisher?

How about the Tater Tot Chop?

Freaking awesome, indeed. Although it’s difficult to ascertain what in the heck is exactly going on with that monstrosity.

The Top-N-Go is simple, yet aspires to cause copious outbreaks of heartburn.

Rolaids, please. And make it snappy.

[H/T SB Nation]