Sportress of Blogitude

Larry David predicts that Jordan Spieth will one day be ‘wildly bald’


Larry David knows bald. And the comedian believes that Jordan Spieth is destined to be so spectacularly hairless that it will be no laughing matter. Worse yet, it won’t be long before the two-time major winner will be a complete and utter chrome dome.

Spieth, at only 22 years old, is already cursed with a receding hairline that makes him a candidate to be the poster boy for male pattern baldness. While he seems to have a good sense of humor about it — being considered among the world’s greatest golfers certainly helps lessen the sting — David’s comments obviously aren’t encouraging.

The “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” creator recently was interviewed by Golf Digest and among the amusing anecdotes culled from his comments was his dire prediction about Spieth’s future lack of any hairline whatsoever.

“He’s going to be a bald man,” David predicts. “He’s going to be wildly bald. This makes him way more appealing to me. It’s one thing to handle the pressure of the back nine at Augusta; let’s see how he does when he sees all that hair in the tub. That’s pressure. I’ll be watching him very carefully. He’s 22. He’s got three years, maybe four. He’s done.”

While that may be the case, perhaps Spieth can find solace in the encouraging words expressed by Rory McIlroy, who said Spieth needn’t worry too much about his receding hairline.

“It’s funny we were talking about hair styles,” McIlroy said about what he and Spieth talked about while playing a round together. “It’s funny — sort of hair styles or something like that. But anyway, I sort of said to him, you have a green jacket, your hair can be whatever you want it to be.”

On the other hand, Spieth should perhaps heed the expert observations once uttered by David’s Seinfeldian alter-ego George Costanza when informing Elaine’s balding beau that he has only 14 months (maybe 10) before he’s completely bald.

“Live, dammit. Live! Every precious moment as if this was the last year of your life. Because in many ways … it is.”


[H/T For the Win]