Sportress of Blogitude

Nationals serenaded with fart noises during B.P. at Marlins Park (video)


In what may be an unprecedented (and sophomorically delightful) act of music-based psychological warfare, the wacky wisenheimers in charge of the P.A. system at Marlins Park — the already-carnival-like home of the Miami Marlins — pumped in what sounded like fart noises as the Washington Nationals conducted their batting practice session prior to Wednesday’s game.

The Marlins apparently have a long history of engaging in hijinks during opposing team’s batting practice, often resorting to playing slow jams or no music at all. But Wednesday’s antics were rip-roaring comical.

“Now not only are the Marlins not playing music during Nats BP, loud fart noises are coming through the speakers,” tweeted MASN on-field reporter Dan Kolko. “I swear, I’m not kidding.”

To wit:

The flatulent audio emanating from the ballpark’s speakers must have become so annoying to Nationals players that the team was forced to improvise by placing a speaker nearby the batting cage.

Washington Post Nationals reporter Chelsea Janes noted that the fart noises eventually ceased, but that wasn’t the end of the chicanery.

“Fart noises have now been replaced by Kenny G-ish stuff,” she wrote on Twitter.

Yeesh. That might be worse, actually.

Sun-Sentinel reporter Christy Chirinos noted on Twitter that the soothing slow jams followed a stretch of … nothing.

“And the bad music came after an extended period of silence…and then fart noises,” she writes. “My 4-year-old would have been delighted had he been here.”

Indeed. As well as every sophomoric nitwit on the Internet, this writer included.

For what it’s worth, the psychological warfare proved to be an unsuccessful endeavor, as the Nationals went out and beat the Marlins by a score of 7-2. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great idea. Darn tootin’.