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‘Mystery pooper’ torments golf course in Norway by defecating in holes

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In one of the oddest — and nastiest — stories from the typically prim and proper world of golf involves a wily, crafty and persistent “mystery pooper” who has been tormenting a golf course in Norway for the better part of a decade by defecating in the bottom of various holes, much to the disgusted chagrin of the course’s groundskeeper.

The site of the unsanitary violation is Stavanger Golf Club, a course in Hafrsfjord, according to a UPI report.

“He has a couple favorite holes,” groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord lamented, according to a Rogaland Avis report, per the New York Post. If the suspect has a sense of humor, it’s likely one of his favorite spots to conduct his business is located on the green of hole No. 2.

The money quote of the report revolves around Tennfjord’s suspicion regarding the gender of the daring defecator, whose “work” is typically accompanied by soiled toilet paper.

“And we know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman,” opined the befuddled groundskeeper, who has found the unsanitary evidence of the suspect’s trespassing since 2005.

Tennfjord says the course attempted to catch the “mystery pooper” by installing high-powered lights, but it was to no avail, as the individual merely disconnected the lights prior to his pooping.

But there appears to be a method to the man’s madness, as Tennfjord indicated he maintains a dedicated regimen as it relates to the timing of his defecation.

“He poos only on weekdays. On weekends I have never found poo on the golf course,” he said.

Steinar Floisvik, the managing director of the club, has some theories that might explain why a person would engage in such disgusting behavior.

“Our idea is that it could be someone who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or suffer from mental problems,” he said.

Indeed. And here we thought finding a snake’s head peeking up out of a hole was the worst thing someone could find in the bottom of a cup.