Sportress of Blogitude

Indians bullpen holds Brandon Moss’ 100th home run ball ransom (pic)

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Cleveland Indians first baseman Brandon Moss reached a pretty significant milestone on Tuesday, hitting his 100th career home run in the team’s 2-1 victory over the Kansas City Royals.

Moss, like many players, probably would like to gain possession of the ball in order to commemorate and document such an achievement. But what appeared to be a fortuitous break for Moss in easily acquiring the coveted baseball turned out to be not as good as one would assume.

The ball landed in the Indians bullpen at Kauffman Stadium. Moss presumably thought it simply would be a matter of one of the pitchers holding on to the ball until he could hand it over to its arguably rightful owner.

But the wisenheimers in the bullpen weren’t willing to give it up quite so easily, and definitely not without some compensation, and that is why the relievers scribbled out a ransom note in which their demands were spelled out in list fashion.

Each reliever named some item or another that they wanted in exchange for the baseball. The items mostly involved high-tech Apple items, such as Macbooks, iPads, Apple Watches and the like. But one item demanded was quite peculiar … and kind of nasty.

“Zep,” otherwise known as Marc Rzepczynski, demanded on top of an Apple Watch a 50-gallon drum of lube. Yep, lube.

That’s gross. But hey, if Moss wants the ball, he better figure out exactly where an individual can procure such a large amount of lubricant. Yeah.

Perhaps the funniest part of the note was how it was disseminated: By the Indians’ official Twitter account. Maybe no one noticed that “50 gallon drum of lube” made the list. Or simply did not care.