Sportress of Blogitude

Subway’s Marcus Mariota sculpture is $5 footlong’s worth of nightmare fuel (pic)

Marcus Mariota

Marcus Mariota recently signed an endorsement deal with Subway and to commemorate the momentous event, the renowned sandwich making-outfit created a sculpture of the soon-to-be NFL quarterback.

Given that bread, meat and condiments aren’t typically considered traditional mediums through which beautiful art is created — to say the least — the results are, well … horrifying.

ESPN’s Darren Rovell provided the first scoop about Mariota’s new endorsement gig, as well as the first look-see at the sandwich sculpture (via Twitter):


GAH! Egad! That’s one big pile of nightmare fuel. Is it supposed to be eaten or are we supposed to be afraid that it’s going to eat us.

Goodness gracious, even Jared would shudder if he came within arm’s reach at that terrifying representation of the former Ducks quarterback.

Regarding the new partnership between Mariota and Subway, Paul Bamundo, the company’s global director of sports marketing and strategic partnerships — now that’s a mouthful — said the quarterback falls in line with the kind of guys Subway seeks out, ones who are “authentic and have a good knowledge of our product.”

Mariota, a noted Subway enthusiast — he could even “recite his favorite sandwich combo without flinching” (!) — reportedly also told Subway that the legendary $5 footlong promotion costs more than five bucks in his native Hawaii, although it is pointed out in Rovell’s report that the cost isn’t guaranteed in Alaska or Hawaii due to the price of materials.

In any event, this isn’t the first time a big-time college football player was memorialized in meat, veggies and cheese by Subway as they transitioned to the NFL.

Current Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Jarvis Jones received the same treatment in 2013.

Jarvis Jones

Well, there you go.

(top photo credit: AP Photo/Julio Cortez)