Sportress of Blogitude

Chicago scribes float Kris Bryant conspiracy theory about game postponement


One less game played without Kris Bryant, another bullet dodged by the Chicago Cubs.

The Cubs were scheduled to host the St. Louis Cardinals on Tuesday night at Wrigley Field for the team’s second game of the season. The team instead pulled the trigger early in the afternoon and declared that the game was postponed “due to the forecast of rain and sub-freezing wind chills throughout the evening,” per a Chicago Sun-Times report. A make-up date has yet to be announced.

The problem was the forecast proved to be somewhat inaccurate. While it was a bit windy and a tad chilly — which is to be expected in April baseball — it didn’t rain until late Tuesday night turned into early Wednesday morning.

A couple of Chicago sportswriters argue that it was far too convenient for the Cubbies to hastily postpone a game so early in the day. Instead, the conspiracy theory is offered that the team elected to cancel the game prematurely so it could avoid having to play an early-season game without the über-prospect Bryant on the major league roster.

The theory goes as follows: Bryant only has to spend a total of 12 days in the minors to extend out his free agency one year until after the 2021 season. Games played by the Cubs doesn’t matter, only the days, so any postponement is all-good.

Both Gordon Wittenmyer of the Chicago Sun-Times and Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune floated the conspiracy theory in their columns regarding Tuesday’s postponement, but Rosenbloom arguably was more eloquent with his prose.

The suspicious decision to postpone the second game of the season because of potentially bad weather when they’ve played in worse feels like the Cubs’ flimsy reasoning for sending Bryant to the minors to work on things. It feels like that old line about someone urinating on your head and telling you it’s raining.

Whatever the Cubs are about right now, it’s mostly about buying time. It’s about buying time to keep Bryant in the minors so his major league service time doesn’t start. It’s about buying time until the Cubs VP of pee can figure out that people need to go to the bathroom after the team sells them beer and pop.

Rosenbloom acknowledges that the Cubs may have had legitimate reasons to cancel the game, but his cynicism about the North Siders prevents him from not proffering his Kris Bryant conspiracy theory.

But the real zinger is how the scribe incorporated the ugly and embarrassing scene at under-renovation Wrigley Field — positively Baghdad-like, according to pitcher Jason Hammel — on Sunday when fans resorted to urinating in cups due to atrociously long restroom lines, something the team tried to “head” off at the pass by bringing in potable toilets on Monday.

Given the disrepair of Wrigley and the clock ticking on Bryant’s purgatory-like time in the minors, for the Cubs, the more postponed games the better. Maybe Wednesday afternoon’s game will be canceled, too.