Sportress of Blogitude

Elementary school sportswriter has scathing hot sports take on Cam Newton


Cam Newton probably has grown accustomed to the fact that sportswriters can be a vituperative bunch when it comes to penning pieces articulating their perception that a superstar athlete is under-performing or not worth the hype. What the Carolina Panthers quarterback likely is not used to, however, is when the sportswriter unleashing said hot sports take is elementary school-age.

But that’s the case with a highly critical column about Newton and how the quarterback who “gets intercepted a lot” would be better served in the role of running back on the Panthers.


From the mouths — or better put, from the laptops — of babes.

The entire transcript of the Pulitzer Prize-worthy piece of sports analysis.

My favorite football team is the Carolina Panthers. I feel that they need a better quarterback. The quarterback is Cam Newton. The team never seems to win and I think he is the reason. He gets intercepted a lot.

Now I know what you’re thinking. What if he does not have the support of the team? What if they are not very good? Maybe…but, the players on the team are pretty good. I will admit that maybe the team is responsible for some of the losses, but most of the time it is his fault.

There is a spot for him on this team. That is as running back. That would probably use his talents better. Now that I think about it…the Panthers were never a very good team. Maybe he is not the only bad player.

Indeed. The young writer makes some excellent points about both Newton and the Panthers. And unlike many ink-stained wretches of his ilk, he appears to not only have the ability to change his opinion and admit that he may be wrong, but he is willing to do so midstream, right in the middle of a column. The writer of this piece deserves credit for his unwillingness to be rigidly steadfast in his opinions.

Well done, kiddo.