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Bud Selig portrait commissioned by Padres is creepily macabre (photo)


A portrait of outgoing MLB commissioner Bud Selig now hangs in the lobby of the San Diego Padres’ offices at Petco Park. And to be kind, the portrait of Selig is, well, kinda creepy.

The Padres last year renamed a plaza outside Petco Park “Selig Hall of Fame Plaza.” The suspicion then was that it was a heavy-handed and clumsy attempt by the team to curry favor with Selig in an attempt to land an All-Star Game.

The team of course did in fact secure an upcoming Midsummer Classic, as it was announced recently that Petco Park will be the host of the 2016 All-Star Game, so whether or not the naming of the plaza had anything to do with it — or if the Padres even purposely sucked up to the commish — it matters little. The ends justified the means even if the means were unintentional or had nothing to do with it.

Be that as it may, the decision to hang a portrait of Selig, whose longstanding tenure as commissioner comes to an end Sunday when Ron Manfred takes over, such a curious one. There arguably is little to be gained from such an outward show of reverential appreciation for Mr. Selig.

Further exacerbating the strangeness of it all is the macabre manner in which Selig is depicted in the portrait. It’s downright spooky, ghoulish even.

Granted, Selig never has been the most photogenic of sorts…

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… so arguably it stands to reason that same shortcoming would translate to portraits. One could say that Selig is not “portraitgenic,” then, if there were such a word.

Still, the portrait is haunting. It’s like one of those paintings hung in a haunted castle where the eyes are cut out so some dastardly and murderous ne’er-do-well can spy on unsuspecting potential victims. It’s something that evokes imagined images straight out of a Edgar Allen Poe story or Sherlock Holmes mystery.

Or, given Selig’s somewhat comical, sometimes cartoonish, countenance at times, perhaps it would be more fitting to liken his portrait to one seen in an episode of “Scooby Doo.” He would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those meddling PED users.

Something like that.

[H/T Big League Stew, photo credit: Tom Krasovic/Twitter]