Sportress of Blogitude

The straight poop: Browns’ Joe Thomas accused of ‘discharging manure’


Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas has been accused of discharging manure along with other environmental violations by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, according to a report from the Wisconsin State Journal.

Thomas has been accused of 11 violations in total, allegedly involving “damming a navigable waterway, discharging manure into a wetland and dredging a spring-fed pond,” per the WSJ report.

The alleged violations reportedly occurred on property Thomas, a Wisconsin native and former Badgers star, owns near the town of Muscoda.

Thomas allegedly purchased the land for hunting purposes, but it was overrun with old farm equipment, trash and other waste, objects that needed removal.

“My whole idea was to make it a fish and wildlife paradise like it used to be,” he said.

Thomas pleads ignorance to the fact that permits are necessary to perform this kind of cleanup and the environmental violations stem from the work done by some contractors he hired to do the job.

A DNR spokesman reportedly has said Thomas, an avid outdoorsman, has been cooperative.

It all appears to be a big misunderstanding and from all accounts, Thomas is doing everything in his power to rectify the situation.

But the money quote from the bizarre story comes from Thomas. When addressing the violations, the Browns tackle summed them up eloquently as follows.

“I know it sounds horrific when you see the list of violations, but in the end it’s rabbit turds here,” Thomas told the Wisconsin State Journal in a telephone interview.

The only thing that would have made that quote better is if Thomas had thrown in something like, “Sure, some mistakes were made, but most of these allegations, specifically the discharging of manure charge, is simply a big load of crap.”

That would have been funny. Because, you know … yeah.

And if anyone thought for a minute that it wouldn’t be highlighted, given the “discharging manure” charge, that Thomas plays for the Browns, well, those folks would be sadly mistaken.

(photo credit: Associated Press)