Tommy Lasorda: If you don’t root for the Dodgers, you’re not going to Heaven
Tommy Lasorda probably has Dodger Blue blood coursing through his veins — cut with marinara sauce and Slim-Fast so it might be kind of a bruise-like, muddy color in the end … but that’s beside the point — so it is hardly surprising that the 87-year-old legend was pretty pumped up after his beloved Los Angeles Dodgers clinched the National League West and punched their ticket to the postseason after dispatching the San Francisco Giants on Wednesday night.
Riding a wave of positive emotion, joy and just feeling great, Lasorda took to Twitter to praise the Dodgers, as well as perhaps even intimating that some souls should be condemned to eternal damnation in the process.
Lasorda feels that a good soul, a pure soul, a noble soul has no choice but to root, root, root for the Dodgers. If a person does not, well…
If you don’t cheer for the Dodgers, there’s a good chance you may not get into Heaven. Especially after this great win tonight.
— Tommy Lasorda (@TommyLasorda) September 25, 2014
It’s important to point out that Lasorda doesn’t explicitly say that if you don’t root for the Dodgers you’ll go to Hell, but he insists you ain’t going to Heaven, either. Perhaps a few thousand years in Purgatory will straighten a nonbeliever’s soul out.
What can be gleaned by Lasorda’s tweet is that in his mind, God is a Dodgers fan.
Cowboys linebacker D. D. Lewis once allegedly said, “Texas Stadium has a hole in its roof so God can watch His favorite team play.” The same must be the case for the Creator and the Dodgers, except for one thing: Even though Dodger Stadium is an open-air ballpark, doesn’t the SoCal smog obscure God’ view of the game?
Wait, is smog still a big issue in L.A.? Or is that a tired and cliched rip-reference from the 80s? Let’s go with Los Angeles remains an air pollution wasteland. But with some of noblest baseball souls on the planet. At least according to Lasorda.
[H/T SB Nation]