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Rickie Fowler on nattering nabobs of negativity ripping patriotic haircut: ‘Too bad’

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In what may be the most controversial haircut in the history of professional golf — okay, the only controversial haircut in the history of professional golf — Rickie Fowler has somehow stumbled into a scandal of “slalpic” proportions.

It all started with the 25-year-old member of the U.S. Ryder Cup team innocently going America all over everybody’s ass by getting “U-S-A” shaved into his head before the squad embarked on a trans-Atlantic flight to Scotland ahead of the showdown with the Euros. Fowler did so simply as a sign of patriotism and team unity but created something of a media firestorm across the pond.

One British sportswriter, in particular, was particularly offended by Fowler’s pro-USA haircut. Oliver Brown, Chief Sports Feature Writer for The Telegraph, went all-in while taking down Fowler, castigating the golfer’s “GI Joe-style crewcut” as “an exhibition of thuggish jingoism.”

Harsh words for a harmless haircut, right? Brown evidently doesn’t think so.

And to those of Brown’s kind, nattering nabobs of negativity who have nothing better to do then make mountains out of molehills and haircuts into harbingers of doom, Fowler has this to say:

Suck it.

Okay, not actually “suck it,” but that’s the tone and theme of the comments Fowler made on Wednesday regarding the budding “Haircutgate” controversy.

“I’m just myself,’’ Fowler said Wednesday ahead of Friday’s opening matches, according to a New York Post report. “I’m not trying to be anyone else. I’m not trying to fit in any particular way. I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or turn anyone the wrong way. Just proud to be from the USA and be over here playing the Ryder Cup team.”

Cue up the Lee Greenwood, folks.

Fowler continued.

“If people take it the wrong way, it’s too bad for them,” he said. “It’s unfortunate. You’ve got to show some patriotism and spirit for your country. I just thought I would do it for a little team spirit and knew the guys on the team would like it, and it’s been fun to see the reaction of the fans and people, social media, guys on the European squad and caddies over there, as well. It’s been pretty fun.’’

Pretty fun, not to mention patently ridiculous. Seriously, this has been the most bandied-about clipper job since Britney Spears went Private Pyle on her scalp in 2007.

Despite the hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth, it’s a pretty solid look. Sure, it would have been far cooler had Fowler arrived in Scotland as Dick Fowler, P.I., his mustachioed alter-ego, but the “USA” is pretty cool nevertheless.