Sportress of Blogitude

Derek Holland sheds light on Rangers bullpen game called ‘Fart Bottle Roulette’


Day in, day out, game after game, relief pitchers spend a lot of time waiting around for the chance that their name might be called while sitting on their butts in the bullpen. The relievers, save for a couple of catchers and a coach, pretty much spend the entirety of games in isolation, separated from the rest of the team who are high-fiving, chewing on sunflower seeds and otherwise engaging in some form of roster-bonding in the dugout.

It should come as no surprise, then, when a story comes around about how relief pitchers can come up with some pretty whacked out things to do just to pass the time, occupy their attention and break the monotony.

Texas Rangers starting pitcher Derek Holland is currently on the shelf and has been so since suffering a knee injury during the offseason and has been spending more time than usual hanging with the relievers in the bullpen. He appeared on a Dallas/Fort Worth radio station on Wednesday and somehow the discussion turned to the games the relievers play while attempting to alleviate some of the boredom.

The games? One is called “Pink Eye,” a game which could involve pretty much anything.

The other is referred to as “Fart Bottle Roulette,” which given the name, requires more explanation than one would assume.

But both involve farts, farting and the smelling of said farts. In other words, there seems to be a flurry of flatulence going on in the Rangers pen.

“Basically, there are two games. One is called pink eye. That is when you just fart in somebody’s face and they can’t flinch,” Holland explained on KRLD-FM 105.3 . “If they move, there is a penalty for it. This all came from Mark Lowe”

Holland continued.

“‘Fart Bottle Roulette’ is when you get a bunch of little water bottles, fart into one of them, put them in a bag, shuffle it, and than watch everybody’s reaction. Everybody opens a bottle one by one and it’s the most nerve-wracking thing every because you really don’t want that bottle.”

Um, gross. Actually, grosser than gross. A flat-out, down-low and disgusting exercise in depraved nastiness.

Holland is known as having something of a goofy personality and friendly disposition. As noted above,  he’s currently is on the 60-day DL after undergoing arthroscopic microfracture surgery to repair cartilage damage in his knee.

But what makes the story regarding his injury so compelling is how Holland suffered said knee injury: He did it back in January while playing with his dog. So, yeah, it makes perfect sense that a guy like that would happily discuss games that involve farts.

After all, this is the guy who once took to Twitter to rant about getting kicked out of a Counting Crows concert, of all things.

One last thought, though, about the fart games, or at least one of them. Wouldn’t “Stink Eye” be a far better name for a game revolving around farting in someone’s face?

[H/T The Big Lead]