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Minor League Baseball

Ohio minor league baseball team honors Johnny Manziel with ‘Johnny Footlong’ (pic)


In attempt to capitalize on the Johnny Football-Johnny Cleveland-Johnny Manziel hype currently consuming the state of Ohio, the Akron RubberDucks — the Double-A affiliate of the Cleveland Indians — have unveiled a gastronomical gutbomb called the “Johnny Footlong.”

The heartburn-inducing concession, made available over the weekend, boasts an 8-inch frankfurter smothered with pepper jack cheese, Sriracha sauce, Texas Jack chili and shredded pepper jack cheese. If a pack of Rolaids or a roll of Tums or a shot of Pepto-Bismol is not included as a courtesy condiment, well, that’s not good, because this thing is stomach-churning, acid reflux-causing nightmare.

“We’re always looking to incorporate the sporting trends of northeastern Ohio into our menu,” said Brian Manning, the RubberDucks director of food and beverage, wrote in a press release. “This is a great way to mix the excitement in the region with a fun, delicious and quality product.”

RubberDucks general manager Jim Pfander noted the burgeoning buzz over the Cleveland Browns first-round draft pick by adding: “Johnny Football mania is in full swing at Canal Park, and we are excited to have a food and beverage offering dedicated to the new Browns Quarterback. It’s an exciting time for the Akron and Cleveland area.”

The fiery frankfurter costs eight bucks and likely will wreak unfathomable havoc on the digestive systems of anyone who dares to consume such a spicy, heat-infused ballpark treat.

Perhaps missed in the coverage of the RubberDuck’s new food item is the irony of a Johnny Manziel hot dog in light of the frivolous allegations made in a ridiculous lawsuit where Manziel was accused of placing his manhood in a hot dog bun and sending a pic of it to a woman. Of course, that ridiculous lawsuit was rightfully and summarily dismissed — but it did spawn an abundance of hilarious memes. Still, intentional or not, the thought of a Johnny Manziel-inspired hot dogĀ  in nevertheless quite amusing.

(image courtesy of the Akron RubberDucks)