Sportress of Blogitude

‘Hot Dog Bun Dong’ lawsuit filed against Johnny Manziel dismissed by judge


Remember that $25 million sexual harassment lawsuit filed against Johnny Manziel a few weeks ago that was so patently absurd and so obviously ridiculous that there was no way in hell it was legitimate? It turns out it’s what most sane folks figured it to be: A load of manufactured, completely untrue and totally fabricated load of malarkey.

A Florida judge has thrown out the lawsuit, even savaging the the cretinous dullard who filed it in his dismissal.

According to a TMZ report, State of Florida Judge Steven D. Merryday wrote that the lawsuit, frivolously field by Jonathan Lee Riches, a former Federal prisoner known for these kind of shenanigans, was “immaterial, impertinent and scandalous.”

Scandalous ain’t the half of it. Here’s just a sampling of just how scrumptiously scandalous the ridiculous allegations got in the laughingly cockamamie got:

On Christmas Eve 2013, Manziel sent me a Instagram photo of himself naked to me Facebook with Manziel putting a hotdog bun between his penis, smiling, calling me “Ho, Ho, Ho,” then called up and told me he wanted a threesome with Dr. Drew.

During last year’s Nathan Hotdog Eating Contest, defendant Manziel sent me a naked photo of him with a ruler next to his erect penis that measured 4 1/2 inches, while holding up a sign “You know you want me, Samantha.”

Defendant keeps asking me to strip for him at his boy, LeBron James’ crip in Miami.

Manziel called me up drunk on Halloween of 2013 and confessed to me that he cheated on his college exams.

Manziel told me if I don’t want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he’ll be Long John Silvers.

Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages.

Johnny Manziel said he Skyes with Judereon Clowney in South Carolina, and Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of is penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster.

Manzeil sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on “It’s a Small World” ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down and unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles his penis to the music.

Yeah, whoever the Clerk of Court was who actually accepted and subsequently allowed the suit to be filed should be suspended.

Although said acceptance of what should have been recognized as a frivolous lawsuit from the onset did spawn a bevy of hilarious memes instantly upon the news that the suit was filed, so there’s that. Fun for us, sure. Not so much fun for Johnny Football or Johnny Cleveland or whatever people are calling him these days.