Sportress of Blogitude

Matt Cain gashed finger while trying to cut sandwich into ‘fancy triangles’

Matt Cain poses for the Jr Giants handbook on Tuesday, February 19, 2013.

Last week, word got out that San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain was to miss his scheduled start on Tuesday due to a clubhouse mishap that resulted in an injury to his right index finger.

At the time, it was reported that the injury occurred when Cain tried to catch a knife that was falling to the floor after he dropped it while making sandwiches.

On Monday, the Giants placed Cain on the disabled list retroactive to April 25 as a result of the knife-related malady and additional details have since emerged about the nature and cause of Cain’s sandwich-making mishap.

Apparently, Cain simply was trying to cut his sandwich into, in his words, “fancy triangles” when the injury occurred.

Via‘s Hank Schulman:

As you can imagine, Cain is getting a lot of grief for the knife accident, especially since we have been writing that he cut himself “trying” to make a sandwich, as if he could not complete that simple act.

Cain wants it known that he had finished the ham-and-cheese sandwich and grabbed the knife so he could cut it.

“I went to cut it, to make it fancy in triangles,” he said. When he dropped the knife he tried to catch it, and now he is on the DL for the second time in his career. The first time, last August, he was struck by a line drive.

“One of them was a freak accident and one of them was my own stupidity,” he said.

Stupidity, indeed. Anyone with half a brain knows that you should never attempt to catch a knife in midair … unless you’re one of those knife-juggling crazy kooks.

Further, fancy triangles? Would a “fancy triangle” be an equilateral? Right triangle? Isosceles? Was a protractor involved? Trigonometry? We need more information!

Actually, it’s gotta be an Isosceles, right? Yeah, Isosceles for sure.

One of Schulman’s Twitter followers suggested that the Giants invest in one of these bad boys for the clubhouse.


Ha. Internet wisenheimers. Talk about a “Twist of Cain,” am I right? Yep, that’s a Danzig reference.

[H/T Hardball Talk]