Sportress of Blogitude

Subway University candidate? Matt Cain cuts finger while making a sandwich

Matt Cain poses for the Jr Giants handbook on Tuesday, February 19, 2013.

San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain was a late scratch for his scheduled start on Tuesday night due to yet another bizarre injury to befall a major league baseball player.

Cain was forced to skip his start in the rotation for Tuesday night’s game against the Kansas City Royals after he cut his right index finger while making a sandwich in the team’s clubhouse shortly before the game.

Cain reportedly sliced open his finger just prior to pregame batting practice when he dropped a knife he was using to make a pregame sandwich and attempted to grab it before it hit the floor. Always a bad idea. Maybe Cain should have stuck to snacking on a slice of watermelon, as he did for the above photo. A pre-sliced piece of watermelon, of course.

The Giants replaced Cain with long reliever Yusmeiro Petit, who went out and pitched six shutout innings, fanning four while only allowing three hits in a 6-0 win.

Cain downplayed the severity of the injury afterward.

“Hopefully it is not a big deal,” Cain said after the game, per “Petit did a great job. He gave us a lift. To have a guy like him in the bullpen is a huge asset.”

Cain jokingly tried to blame the mishap on teammate Jeremy Affeldt, who sustained his own knife-related injury a few seasons ago.

“He had a lot of fun with it,” Cain said. “Considering how much I let him have it, it’s my turn to feel like an idiot.”

Indeed. Never grab a knife out of midair, man.

Seriously, bizarre injuries have been an epidemic among major leaguers forever, with some this season being patently absurd (see here, and here, and don’t forget about this knife-related malady).

Sadly, in reference to the above title, there is no way Cain has the credentials and skills required to gain acceptance to Subway University.

Subway University, you know, like in “Community”? Seriously, doesn’t anyone watch that televised stroke of comedic brilliance? Come on, people. It’s a quality show!