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Crab-Legs-Gate 2014 update: Jameis Winston suspended by FSU baseball


Abundantly illustrating the absurd rapidity of the modern day media cycle, in the span of a few short hours, not only has it been learned that Florida State Seminoles football/baseball player Jameis Winston allegedly was arrested for attempting to shoplift crab legs (of all things), an Internet meme was born and now is reporting that Winston has been suspended by the FSU baseball team as a consequence of the alleged attempted pilfering of seafood.

The report further states that “FSU’s Athletic Department Code of Conduct/Discipline Policy provides that a student-athlete with a civil citation is eligible to practice and compete” and that the decision to allow an athlete to practice and/or compete solely is at the discretion of the head coach.

No word on the extent or length of the suspension, but both Seminoles head baseball coach and head football coach have spoken out about Winston’s initial punishment.

“As a result of his citation last night, we are suspending Jameis Winston from the baseball team,” said Seminoles baseball coach Mike Martin.

“I am confident he will complete his community service obligation and the situation will be resolved soon.”

FSU football coach Jimbo Fisher came out and agreed with Martin and his coaching colleague’s decision to suspend Winston.

“I fully support Coach Martin’s decision and will also make sure that Jameis meets all obligations,” Fisher said. “Which I know he will.”

So, there you have it. A valuable teaching moment for any would-be shoplifters out there. If you’re going to steal something, make sure you know what you’re doing.

Secondly, don’t try to steal freaking crab legs, for crying out loud. If you’re hankering for seafood, try something smaller and arguably less noticeable crammed down the front of your pants. Some shrimp or scallops, for instance.

On the other hand, how about not stealing anything. Shoplifting is bad, mmmkay?

UPDATE: During a press conference conducted by the Leon County Sheriff’s office, it was announced that Jameis Winston has received 20 hours of community service for his crab crimes.

Here is a portion of the transcript, via The Big Lead:

At approximately 10pm last night, a local Publix reported that someone left without paying for $32.72 of food. We talked to staff and off-duty deputy and were able to determine that it was Winston who left without paying. Made contact with Winston at his residence to talk about it. In a post-Miranda interview, Winston was cooperative. He acknowledged that he had left Publix without paying for the items. He said he “forgot”, realized it when he got home, but had made no effort to contact the store or go back and pay. 

We determined that he was eligible for pre-diversion civil citation program for non-violent offenses of people with no criminal history. Winston has to do 20 hours of community service, and has been given seven days to reach out to the program. There is video of him entering and leaving the store. He was alone. The facts are not in dispute. He left without paying.

Well, there you have it. What’s done is done. As long as Winston does what is required of him this story quickly will fade from our collective attention. Nothing fishy about that, right? Zing!

Come on, in three posts today, I have not made one pun even though there were many opportunities, so lay off before you make me crabby.