Sportress of Blogitude

Did Jonathan Papelbon annoyingly direct a fart at reporters? (audio)

What else can you say about Jonathan Papelbon.

Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Jonathan Papelbon has been known at times over his career for being something of a surly interview subject. Following Thursday’s 1-0 win over the Atlanta Braves in which the closer converted his fourth save of the season, Papelbon expressed extreme annoyance at a line of questioning regarding how his velocity is down this season.

But Papelbon didn’t stop with some terse words. According to a Crossing Broad tipster, Papelbon not only fired back at reporters verbally, he also lifted a leg and fired a fart back at them to put a gaseous exclamation point on his retort. Allegedly.

But first, Papelbon’s comments in their entirety (via

“Why do you guys care about velo[city] so much, man?” Papelbon said. “Does that matter? Does that really matter? Do you really think that matters? I don’t understand that. If a ball has life on it at the plate and you’re throwing 88 miles per hour versus 98 miles per hour, it doesn’t make one damn bit of difference whether you threw 93 or 94 or 84.

“I just … I don’t get it, man. You all killed Roy [Halladay] about velo[city]. It’s not a big deal. You do your job and your ball’s coming out of your hand, it doesn’t really matter how hard you’re throwing. I mean, their pitcher over there today, how hard was he throwing? Low ’90′s? High ’80′s? Look how he pitched. He ran through our lineup the first eight innings basically, but he had life at the plate. That’s all that really matters, man. End of story.”

And now, the supposed fart, the sound of which can be heard at about the 23-second mark:

 Now that’s something. It certainly sounds like a fart, does it not? According to the audio, Papelbon’s flatulence was certainly not silent. No word on whether or not it was deadly.

New nickname for Papelbon: Jon the Ripper. Feel free to use it, those of you who enjoy farty, flatulence-based monikers. And really, who doesn’t?