Sportress of Blogitude


Loser of USA-Canada hockey game to suffer terrible fate: Country will have to keep Justin Bieber (pic)


Team USA and Team Canada face off on Friday in the semifinals of men’s ice hockey at the Sochi Olympics. Given the rivalry that exists between these two counties — further established by the gold medal game at the Vancouver Games in 2010 — the game is sure to be a hard-fought affair. To say a lot is riding on this game would be an understatement, even for an Olympic event.

If an Illinois company had its way, the stakes would be much higher than national pride, bragging rights and simply securing spot in the gold medal game. In fact, according to a billboard recently erected by said Chicago company, Command Sign, ending up on the losing side could have very real and very dire consequences for the vanquished squad and the country they represent.

You see, if the stakes proposed by the billboard were true, the losing country would have to keep Justin Bieber.



As you can see, Bieber (who ‘plays” a little hockey himself) to be a Canadian citizen who has been wreaking havoc in the States via drunken driving charges, vandalism accusations and conduct that only can be described as epic douchebaggery, is flanked on the sign by Chicago Blackhawks superstars Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews, who will take the ice as adversaries for Team USA and Team Canada, respectively.

Representatives of the company explained the reasoning behind the sign (via DNAinfo Chicago):

Command Transportation owner Danny Zamost said it’s the first time his company had put Bieber on its electronic billboard. In the past, the billboard has featured the Bulls’ Joakim Noah spraying Heat star LeBron James with a fire extinguisher and Bears quarterback Jay Cutler smoking a cigarette.

“We try to keep this low-key,” said another executive, who wished to remain anonymous. “We just have fun. We don’t use the sign other than to have fun.”

Fun indeed. But if this were an actual representation of what’s on the line in Friday’s game? Can you even imagine the cruel fate suffered by the losing country? Having to claim ownership and keep Justin freaking Bieber?


Perish the thought.

[Fourth Place Medal, image via @CommandSign]