Sportress of Blogitude

New Orleans Pelicans mascot undergoes successful facial reconstruction surgery (photo)


On Tuesday, Pierre the Pelican, the hell-spawned demon bird mascot for the New Orleans Pelicans, underwent facial reconstruction surgery after suffering a beak injury during a pickup game with other mascots over the weekend.

Sure, it sounds ridiculous — which it is — but the Pelicans even issued a press release to announce the news, mainly to perhaps have fun with the fact that Pierre hasn’t been received too warmly by fans due to his frightening, nightmare fuel appearance.

The Pelicans previously announced plans for Pierre to undergo a redesign of sorts to make him appear, you know, less disturbing, thus hopefully making his interactions with young fans less traumatic.

Well, the radical facial reconstruction surgery has been completed according to a tweet from the team, and the Pelicans revealed the surgery was a success. What hasn’t been revealed, though, is the final results, as the team only tweeted out an image of Pierre’s visage under a heavy wrap of surgical gauze.

Hmm … interesting. What happens if once the gauze is peeled away layer after layer, Pierre looks like this:


And everyone else looks like this?


That would mean, friends, that we collectively have punched our one-way ticket to the haunting NBA mascot dreamscape that is … “The Twilight Zone.”

(casually holds lit cigarette while nattily attired a la Rod Serling, acknowledging that the “Eye of the Beholder” was a solid reference albeit an easy one)

Also, it would mean Pierre the Pelican now is an attractive woman. Which is strange in its own right, I suppose.

All I know is I cannot wait for the next “The Twilight Zone” marathon on SyFy.