Sportress of Blogitude

Summer league team offers chubby A-Rod free donuts to coach (and $5,000)


With the belief that in all likelihood — barring a shocking outcome to Alex Rodriguez’s lawsuit against the MLB and MLBPA that erases his 162-game suspension — the New York Yankees third baseman will have plenty of time on his hands this summer, a collegiate summer league baseball team has offered A-Rod a coaching job.

The Torrington (Conn.) Titans of the Futures Collegiate Baseball League have issued a press release via its official website in which the ball team has formerly offered A-Rod a job as an assistant coach.

Sure, the money ain’t great — the Titans only can afford to offer up A-Rod a $5,000 contract for a summer of work (although Rodriguez isn’t hurting in the money department at any rate — duh). But as the old saying goes, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Especially for portly men. So, in conjunction with a local business, the Titans are attempting to sweeten the deal … literally.

Perhaps in light of A-Rod’s, ahem, apparently letting himself go a bit (see above), the team is offering to pay the slugger in pastries.

Yep, along with $5,000, the Titans announced Torrington’s Donut Station will supply A-Rod with free donuts and coffee.

The relevant portion of the evidently marketing-savvy baseball team’s press release:

Titans offer Alex Rodriguez Coaching Position

Following his recent suspension, the Torrington Titans are extending the invitation to New York Yankee, Alex Rodriguez for an Assistant Coach position with the Titans for the upcoming 2014 season working with new head coach Dan McNamara.

General Manager of the Titans Joey Abis, stated how thrilled he would be to have Alex as a member of the staff for the summer of 2014. “The importance of collegiate summer baseball today is huge. It has become a stepping stone for some of the greatest players playing professionally today.” Abis also noted, “This would be a great chance for Alex to stay in shape during the season and to impart his expertise to these young athletes.”

The Titans will in no way be able to take on Alex’s multi-million dollar contract. They have offered Alex a $5,000 contract for the season beginning June 4th and ending August 15th. Along with his salary Alex will receive free Coffee and Donuts from the Donut Station in Torrington for the duration of the 2014 season. Abis went on to say, “We would love to help Alex start to rebuild his image as a professional athlete by giving back to the community and helping our young athletes reach the next level.” Abis concluded with, “Alex would love the Torrington community and would be a great addition to the list of Torrington talent.”

Sounds like a pretty “sweet” deal. And what a great way for A-Rod to start repairing his beyond-tarnished public image.

Although it certainly won’t help slow A-Rod’s ever-expanding waistline. In other words, A-Rod be looking fat! And all the donuts he can eat won’t help. Perhaps Rodriguez should stick to jamming out with Mariachi bands in Cancun. That way, he may be in decent enough shape to dive out of the way of all those beanballs he’ll apparently be seeing if he has the (toned) stomach to meekly return to major league baseball.