Sportress of Blogitude

‘Why Do New England Patriots Players Refuse to Give Tom Brady High-Fives? (Part 2)’ (photo)

Tom Brady didn’t put up the usual numbers as the New England Patriots punched their ticket for the team’s third consecutive appearance in the AFC Championship Game courtesy of a 43-22 throttling of the Indianapolis Colts. The primary reason? He didn’t have to put up a heroic passing effort, as the Pats punished the Colts with a dominant rushing performance.

The Patriots crushed the Colts with 234 rushing yards, with LaGarrette Blount leading the way with 24 carries for 166 yards and four touchdowns.

Brady, meanwhile, had a rather pedestrian performance — by his standards — going 13-25 for 198 yards. But does that mean that Brady should be shunned in his efforts to get a high-five from a teammate yet again? The above scene played out in the Patriots’ locker room, which should have been an accepting, inclusive environment. But not for Brady, apparently. Look at him up there. Poor guy. Where’s the love?

One may recall how Tommy Terrific was shunned on the sidelines while seeking out a partner to participate in the act once described by Seinfeld as the “lowest form of male primate ritual” during a late-December win over the Baltimore Ravens.

That sad occurrence was preceded by Julian Edelman passing Brady by as he sat on the bench, hand extended, awaiting a high-five that sadly never came.

It’s getting to the point now that it’s reasonable to suspect that Brady’s Patriots teammates must believe the quarterback has cooties or something.

At the same time, getting cooties from Gisele ain’t a bad way to contract that elementary school playground malady.

At this point, it seems that the only person in the world who would give Tom Brady a high-five is David Puddy, and he isn’t even a real person.