Sportress of Blogitude

Alexander Ovechkin appears in Maxim Russia as some kind of RoboKnight with a laser beam (pic)

Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin is worshiped as some kind of hockey-playing demigod in the Russian Motherland, so it should come as no surprise that he has been profiled in a recent issue of Maxim Russia. In fact, he has been likely profiled many times by the magazine that caters to the appetites of Russian horndogs (for a bonus treat, check out some of the photos on Maxim Russia‘s Facebook page — sweet sassy molassey — those Ruskies do the Maxim thing nicely).

If Ovechkin is in fact frequently featured in Maxim Russia, I, for one, would like to see previous profiles to see if Ovechkin is photographed in a similar manner to how he is depicted on the most recent occasion.

And how he is depicted? Can’t really say, to be honest.

Ovechkin dons what could be considered a suit of medieval armor suitable for a knight, only with a few minor differences. For one thing, the breastplate of the armor has an odometer — or something — in it, making him more a robot (albeit a primitive one) more than a knight.

Further, RoboOvie appears to be operating some kind of frickin’ laser beam-type contraption and is using it to solder a piece of his armor. It’s all kinds of weird.

What makes it even stranger — and much more comical — is the translation provided by Bing of the Facebook post:

Alexander Ovechkin: “Tooth will stick when leave from hockey. Now it is useless. New issue of “accountable!” with a star hockey.

Wait. What?

[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]