Sportress of Blogitude

Pierre, the New Orleans Pelicans mascot, may be a hell-spawned demon bird (photos)


(via @PelicansNBA)

On the, uh, eve, of All Hallow’s Eve, the New Orleans Pelicans unleashed upon the world on Wednesday a terrifying creature as the team officially unveiled its new mascot, Pierre the Pelican. There’s not much one can do but say:

The horror … the horror…

The New Orleans NBA franchise rebranded itself back in January, changing its name from the Hornets — and consequently replacing the less terrifying Hugo the Hornet mascot — in a nod to the State of Louisiana’s state bird, the brown pelican.

But no brown pelican ever seen in the wild resembles the disturbing site that is Pierre.

Dressed in a Pelicans jersey and adorned in yellowish-green furry (?) wings, what truly makes Pierre a haunting figure is the blue eyebrows, crazed eyes and strikingly red beak. Is that blood from its latest gore-feast, or has Pierre applied makeup upon its face to resemble a psychotic clown? Hard to say, but either way, it’s scary stuff.

Since I lack the requisite Photoshop and media manipulation skills to adequately illustrate how Pierre the Penguin is a disturbing, hell-spawned creature of dread, I will have to rely on the kindness of strangers to do the work for me.

But first, a few images of Pierre the Pelican doing his thing, which is fill any who gaze upon him with a profound sense of dread.

And some Photoshops:

And here’s two animated GIFs that place Pierre the Pelican in a proper context:

The term “Nightmare Fuel” is thrown around pretty loosely, but Pierre? Here’s looking at you, demon.

[H/T For the Win, GIFs via @nick_pants]