Sportress of Blogitude

Inspired by Raiders’ ‘Black Hole’, Redskins GM wants ‘Burgandy Hole’ at FedEx Field


“Uh … come again?”

So, the Washington Redskins traveled to the West Coast last weekend for a tilt against the Oakland Raiders. Not only did the team come back with its first win of the season, one member of the team’s brain trust may have come back with a hilarious humdinger of an idea on how to improve FedEx Field’s atmosphere.

On his radio show on 980 ESPN radio, former Redskins tight end Chris Cooley regaled listeners with a story about what transpired when Redskins general manager Bruce Allen — a former Raiders executive — spoke to some fans during a “pep fest” the team holds in visiting cities when the Redskins head into a town.

And hoo boy, was it awkward.

As thankfully transcribed by D.C. Sports Bog:

“I went to a Redskins pep rally in San Francisco for this [Raiders] game,” Chris Cooley said on his ESPN 980 radio show Monday afternoon. “The Redskins host a pep rally before every game in the opposing city. It’s not necessarily for out-of-towners; these people watch the Redskins every Sunday in San Francisco. And it was awesome to go to this, because it’s not business people, you’re not entertaining people, you’re not doing anything for money. I showed up with Larry Michael, Bruce Allen, Doc Walker, and we went and talked with the fans, we hung out with fans, just to say what’s up. Because that’s an unbelievable support system.

“It was so much fun. We’ve done it a couple weeks in a row. We did it in Green Bay….In Green Bay, Bruce says, Hey, I’m Bruce Allen, it’s great to be here, here’s Chris Cooley. Throws me under the bus. But Oakland was much better, because Bruce [worked] in Oakland, he had a big thing to do in Oakland. So he said, I want to talk to these people.

 “He gets up. I talk normal — I can’t do this pumped-up talk — but Bruce is a politician at this. Gets both his hands up in the air: WE LOVE THE REDSKINS!!!! I INVENTED THE BLACK HOLE IN OAKLAND – this is what he says – AND NOW I WANT TO GET THE BURGUNDY HOLE IN WASHINGTON D.C.

“Everyone freezes. The Burgundy Hole? And it’s one of those moments where he has no clue the sexual reference to the Burgundy Hole. And it was just funny, kind of off-the-cuff. Burgundy Hole, Bruce? And I wouldn’t have said it, but everyone videoed it.”

Holy inadvertently awkward sexual innuendo, Batman!

But hey, at least Cleveland Browns general manager Michael Lombardi hasn’t arrived at a similar “Eureka!” moment regarding coming up for a clever name for a section of seats at FirstEnergy Stadium by combining the team’s colors and the word “hole.” For obvious reasons. And that’s the straight poop.

[H/T Kissing Suzy Kolber]