Sportress of Blogitude

Giancarlo Stanton rockets ball into orbit before it crash lands on Planet Hoagie (video)

Hah. Orbit. Planet Hoagie. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the first person to crack a space joke about Miami Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton’s monster home run during Wednesday night’s game against the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. I’m original like that.

In fact, although I’m not sure whether or not Planet Hoagie has any orbiting satellites, it could be said that Stanton’s homer was a “moon shot.” Get it? Get it, but think it’s weak sauce. I have to agree.

ESPN Home Run Tracker measures Stanton’s home run — his 23rd round-tripper of the season and the longest one he has hit all year — as traveling a whopping 463 feet. Again, I no little about Planet Hoagie’s astronomical features, but given it’s smallish size (for a planet) Stanton may have put a dent in its atmosphere. Guh.

Finally, to bring this terribly pun-filled post to a merciful end, this article has been brought to you by Planet Hoagie. Okay, it wasn’t, but given the amount of times I’ve mentioned the place, I should be getting paid for it. Goodness knows, the stand is loving the free publicity.