Sportress of Blogitude

Essay written by Cardinals pitcher Joe Kelly in grade school is awesome (pic)


When St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Joe Kelly was just a wee lad, he had big dreams, aspirations and goals. He had his future all mapped out, all the way until he was 80.

A bulk of the years between his time as a youngster when he wrote an essay about his life’s dreams and when he would “get too old” would be spent being a professional baseball player. So you could say Kelly’s dreams were realized, beginning when the Cardinals took him in the third round of the 2009 MLB Draft. Well, those dreams were kind of realized. To a certain extent.

An image of the letter was posted by Kelly to his Twitter account way back in June but what was just picked up on by Eye on Baseball on Friday. Here it is:


Awesome. But how about only a “B” on the fantastic piece of writing, not to mention the above-average penmanship? Kelly tweeted, Mom found this letter I wrote when I was a young buck. P.s. teach was a hater #A+paper.” Indeed.

A transcription, in case it is difficult to read:

Ten years for now I am going to be a baseball player. I am going to be a pitcher, a shortstop and a first baseman. I’m going to be a home run hitter like Babe Ruth. I will probably still be living with my parents, but we will have a bigger house. I will still be a handsome boy. I will still have brown hair. I will invite my parents to my baseball games, and I will get souvenirs, too. When I get too old to play baseball like Cal Ripkens age, I will be a scuba diver, and find gold under the sea. Then I will probably see sharks, jellyfish, and stingrays. Then when I am 80 years old I will quit. I will probably have grandchildren too.

Awesome. Gotta love how Kelly insists that he will remain a handsome boy, and how “Cal Ripkens age” it too old, not to mention how he mentions that he will have grandchildren but makes no mention of a wife. You know, because girls are gross at the age he was when he wrote this stellar essay.

And, to be fair to the so-called teacher who was a “hater”: Kelly did deserve to be marked down a bit for some grammatical errors. A couple paragraph breaks would have been nice, too. But the brilliant essence of the essay cannot be denied.