Sportress of Blogitude

Sweet Fancy Moses, Eagles tackle Lane Johnson’s infant son has man hands (pic)


On Aug. 10, Philadelphia Eagles offensive tackle Lane Johnson announced to the world on Twitter the birth of his son, David Jace Thompson, over the weekend.

As you can see above in the photo attached to the aforementioned tweet, little David appears to be a happy and adorable little boy.

But what isn’t revealed in the original photo but one Johnson posted on Tuesday that while David is indeed little on most counts, one thing in particular is a bit striking about the little guy: The size of his hands, which are a tad bit out of proportion with the rest of his tiny body.

Yep, newborn David has man hands.

Bearing the message, “Big ol man hands,” Johnson provides evidence of David’s massive paws (via @Lanejohnson69):


Holy moly. Those are some enormous hands. Granted, when your father comes in at 6′ 6″ and weighs over 300 pounds, it should be expected that an infant would be on the larger size. But those hands … they are massive. Hopefully, he grows into them.

Although thankfully he’s a boy, not some otherwise attractive woman with meat hooks for hands that can open a beer that is not a twist off, savagely rip apart a lobster and nearly rip a man’s arm right of its socket.