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Attorney’s radio ad implores Jaguars to sign Tim Tebow because derp (video)


With Tim Tebow languishing in a kind of NFL purgatory, without a team to call his own and subsequently turn into an annoying circus sideshow simply due to his presence, one man and one man alone has taken up the banner in an attempt to convince one team to sign the unemployed quarterback.

That’s right, John Morgan, whom the Orlando Sentinel refers to as a “powerful Orlando attorney,” has funded radio spots currently airing down Florida way in a bizarre attempt to convince the Jacksonville Jaguars to sign the hometown kid.

Morgan reportedly is famous in the area because of his “For the People” television and radio commercials, cannot help but throw his considerable talents as a skilled barrister behind the Tim Tebow to the Jacksonville Jaguars movement.

A video containing the audio of Morgan’s spot follows a transcription of the ad, via Pro Football Talk:

“I’m John Morgan of Morgan & Morgan, and I wanna talk Tebow for one minute.  Here’s the evidence.  Tim Tebow played on two national championship teams.  He won the Heisman as the best college player in the country and was drafted in the first round by the Denver Broncos.  Somebody knew somethin’.  And after he got his only chance to start, the Broncos were 1-4 and he led them to the AFC playoffs, and beat Pittsburgh.

“The Jaguars are 27-42 in the last five years, one of the worst records in NFL history.  And more in store for this year.  We can’t even fill an entire end zone.

“Tebow is one of us.  He has class, character, and he’s a winner.  Let’s win, Mr. Khan.  Once upon a time, so-called experts probably doubted your potential, and now look at you.

“Give our guy a shot.  I’ll even buy that box your tried to sell me.  Remember this:  You can’t TiVo Tebow.  Let’s do this Mr. Khan.  For the people.  Let’s win.”

Fantastic. You can’t TiVo Tim Tebow? That’s an awfully confusing statement. Because, you know, derp.

And audio of the ad itself:

Yikes. Even Morgan’s passionate words about him probably wouldn’t pull Sad Tim Tebow out of his funk.

And for a little context, For the Win has dug up a television spot Morgan has done showcasing how he’s the kind of attorney who knows his stuff:

Nicely done, Mr. Morgan. And yep, he looks and sounds exactly like a lawyer who would spend his valuable time lobbying an NFL team to sign Tim Tebow. And while there is only one person — John Morgan — who fits that description, that does not mean it’s a good thing to look or sound like that.

You know, because derp.