Sportress of Blogitude

Ryan Lochte, Lord of the Idiots: Abraham Lincoln had ‘mad swag’ (pic)


Good freaking grief. Ryan Lochte: The simpleminded gift that keeps on giving. Which is amazing, given it’s a surprise the guy remembers to breathe.

Some other half-baked nuggets of mouth-breathing inanity, courtesy of the brain of Ryan Lochte, gleaned from US Weekly (via Grantland):

Things Ryan Lochte Says:

  • “One of my favorite movies is What Women Want, the Mel Gibson one. If I could read women’s minds, I’d be the king of the world.”
  • On his hero Abraham Lincoln: “What other president can rock a top hat? Seriously, he got some mad swag.”
  • “My philosophy: You gotta be a man at night, you gotta be a man in the morning.”
  • On his catchphrase JYEAH: “You have to really put the emphadence [sic] on that J. And then the a-h just kinda flows”
  • “I don’t even remember what I got at the Olympics.”

I don’t know what’s worse. That Ryan Lochte considers Abraham Lincoln his hero or if he uttered that one of the greatest presidents of our country had mad swag because he rocked a top hat. I bet if you referred to Lincoln as the “Great Emancipator” in front of Lochte, he would just giggle as he undoubtedly would believe the word “Emancipator” meant something perverted.

If you ask me, shouldn’t Lochte’s hero be Aquaman? Or, setting the bar a bit lower given his, um, limitations, how about, let’s say, any person with an IQ higher than 75? Although I wouldn’t want to place an overemphadence on the importance of a person’s intellimugence.

[H/T BuzzFeed]