Sportress of Blogitude

Brad Marchand: James van Riemsdyk ‘speared me in the privates’ (GIF)


Following the Boston Bruins’ huge 4-1 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs on Wednesday in Game 1 of the teams’ Eastern Conference quarterfinals match-up, Bruins winger Brad Marchand claimed that Maple Leafs forward James van Riemsdyk engaged in a little funny business as it relates to stick-employed groin-play at the expense of Marchand’s crotchal region.

To put it more plainly, Marchand claims van Riemsdyk used his stick as a crotch-bat, hitting Marchand square in the nuts.

Perhaps even more entertaining/cringe-worthy than the actual GIF below that appears to show arguably unequivocal evidence that van Riemsdyk did in fact hit Marchand in the man parts is the way in which Marchand explained exactly where the hockey stick hit him.

GIF via

Regardless of whether or not Marchand’s accusations are accurate, it’s worth noting that he certainly reacted like he just took a stick to the crotch.

Finally, here’s the slightly comical way Marchand explained the ballsy transgression, as reported by’s Joe Haggerty: “He speared me in the privates.”

Privates? When is the last time you have heard a grown man refer to his manhood as his “privates”? Probably never. The only thing that would have made it more hilarious would have been if somebody would have handed one of those anatomically correct dolls to Marchand and said, “Show us where he hit you with the stick.”

[H/T Pro Hockey Talk]