Sportress of Blogitude


Ow my balls! ‘King of Nutshots’ takes his ‘talents’ to the balance beam (video)


It’s Friday, yours truly has had spotty — yet unavoidable — attendance here at SoB for the past couple of weeks, so let’s get back into to the tomfoolery with this video featuring a man who goes by the moniker “Horse” and is the self-proclaimed “King of the Nutshots.”

You may recall how his testicle-demolishing antics garnered him national attention during his appearances on NBC’s America’s Got Talent in 2012, but apparently, this guy possesses the testicular fortitude needed to repeatedly abuse his crotchal region in an attempt to attract worldwide fame.

Anyhoo, Horse’s latest foray into ball -busting found him directing his crotch-busting talents on the gymnastics apparatus with the most potential for maximum testicular damage: The balance beam. And he attacks it with gusto, as he “attempts” a back-flip before ultimately landing squarely on his nards with cringe-worthy force. The word “attempts” is in quotes because he really wasn’t trying to complete the backflip. Instead, he simply was orienting his body in such a manner just so he would take a shot to the nuts. I don’t know what that says about the guy exactly, but I can assure you whatever it is, it ain’t right.

Horse’s bio, via his website:

Horse: Ex-gymnast w/ balls of steel. He was born in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in 1986. Walking in a field, around the age 6, he was kicked in the face by his family’s Horse, Lady. He grew great fear of horses. As he grew up he overcame this fear turning it to respect. Kind of like Batman but instead of fighting crime he began to get kicked in the nuts. Now known as The King of Nutshots!

King of Nutshots, indeed. Now that’s something you want inscribed upon your tombstone. That’s almost as bad as “professional blogger.”

On to the video, which has been making the rounds for about a week now:

Yamma hamma. However a person would choose to describe Horse’s peculiar talent, one thing is for certain: This guy is flat-out nuts.

Oh, come on, admit it. You laughed at that weaksauce of a joke. Or guffawed. Possibly chuckled. Maybe a snort of sorts.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to this fascinating biography I am reading: The Life and Times of HonorĂ© de Balzac. Yep, I went there.