Sportress of Blogitude

Charles Barkley, Allen Iverson kidnap Andrew Bynum in delightful cartoon (video)


The brief time that Andrew Bynum has spent as a member of the Philadelphia 76ers has been an unmitigated disaster, and that’s putting it kindly. Since being part of a four-team trade on Aug. 10 that shipped the center from Los Angeles to the City of Brotherly Love, Bynum has yet to appear in a single regular season game for the 76ers due to a bum right knee, a frustrating fact for Philly fans only exacerbated by the news that Bynum reportedly injured his left knee in November while bowling. Yep, bowling.

Then there is that follicle-based atrocity that sits on top of his head that he calls a hairstyle:



The whacked-out hairdo, among other things, has become fodder in a delightful animated short entitled, “Yo Bynum!! Pick Up A Basketball!!” In the cartoon, Bynum is kidnapped by members of Philadelphia 76ers royalty, Charles Barkley and Allen Iverson.

Sir Charles and A.I. berate a tied-up Bynum about pretty much everything under the sun, from missed practices, including a reference to A.I.’s infamous “practice” rant (Animated Allen:Practice? We talking about practice?If you stay out another month, you’ll miss almost as many practices as I did”) to how he’s a waste of money money (Cartoon Charles: “You’ve stolen more money in half a year than I’ve lost gambling the last five years”).

It’s all quite the hoot and according to The700Level, comes from “Philly comedy voice extraordinare Joe Conklin and cartoonist Kevin Lofton,” who presumably are disgruntled 76ers fans. Or just Andrew Bynum haters.

But the crowning achievement in the slice of animated brilliance is undoubtedly a cameo from Philadelphia Flyers goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov, who suspiciously sounds a lot like┬áBorat Sagdiyev. Bryzgalov is introduced when Barkley says, in a nod to Pulp Fiction‘s gimp, “Guess we better bring in the oddball,” to which Iverson replies, “The oddball is asleep.” Barkley, completing the reference, hollers, “Well, wake him up then!”

Bryzgalov, , the self-described in the cartoon as “the wacky fool of Philly sports,” cracks a joke about Bynum’s goofy hair, saying, “Nice haircut, by the way. It looks like wooden bowl on your head.”

Gold. Brilliant stuff.