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Bow-chicka-nah-nah: CBS rejects this harmless Pornhub Super Bowl ad (SFW vid)


In a move that hardly can be considered surprising, CBS has said, “Thanks, but no thanks” to a proposed Pornhub Super Bowl ad for inclusion in the commercials to be aired during the network’s broadcast of Super Bowl XLVII on Feb. 3.

The commercial, considering the nature of the business environment in which Pornhub operates and what online product it offers, is surprisingly tame. See for yourself.

Yep, it’s just an elderly couple sitting on a park bench with a slightly melancholy piano soundtrack. The couple glance at each other, share a secret smile of sorts, and that’s that.

Pornhub has issued the following press release about its rejected ad:

Super Bowl TV network CBS has stepped up its defensive line ahead of this Sunday’s big game, blocking a proposed multi-million dollar commercial from…a CBS spokesperson offered this brief response via email to the website’s proposal: “CBS Television Network Standards do not permit advertising related to pornography. Therefore, we cannot accept your submission.”

Pornhub Vice President Corey Price said: “The Super Bowl is the Holy Grail of ad spots and given our website’s huge following in the US, we developed a G-rated commercial that we felt would meet the network’s advertising standards.”

Sure, the commercial in and of itself is G-rated, but the content that is available on Pornhub is not. But in the end, there is no way the powers-that-be at Pornhub expected the ad to be accepted in the first place. Instead, they were hoping that rubes like me and every other site that is going to publish a post about it and embed the video would do all the work publicizing the spot for them without having to pony up the millions of dollars it would have cost them to get this spot aired during the Super Bowl.

You’re welcome, Pornhub. All the sites who have done your bidding and helped accomplish your nefarious scheme wish to be compensated in some capacity. Maybe a box of tissues or something would be a nice gesture.

But not me, of course. I’m just fine without any offerings from PornHub. Yesiree, bub. All that pornographic stuff is icky, smutty stuff and only sickies watch and enjoy it. Like the two elderly perverts in the commercial, apparently. Get a room, you old cretins.

[H/T BuzzFeed]