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Charles Barkley rattles off euphemisms for penis in new Weight Watchers ad (video)

Charles Barkley has done a brilliant job of touting the benefits and quality of Weight Watchers programs suited for men in several entertaining commercials, but his latest offering for the weight loss outfit is far and above the best one yet.

If shedding those unwanted pounds isn’t enough, according to the commercial, for every 35 pounds a man loses, it is possible for a man to gain an extra inch to his manhood. And that setup puts Sir Charles in a prime position to have some serious fun with that informational nugget, and the ad wizards at Weight Watchers were savvy — and brave — enough to allow Barkley to rattle off a laundry list of slang terms for penis, some you have definitely heard, others that are so brilliant you will without a doubt be incorporating them into your phallic lexicon immediately. You know, if you’re the kind of person who needs to bolster their penis lingo.

Fantastic. And without further ado, all the terms for penis Barkley rattles off in the spot, entitled “Roll Call.” It starts off innocently enough, but the hilarious and distinctly creative terms really being to flow (ahem) towards the end:

  • Peter
  • Richard
  • Johnson
  • Willie
  • Cyclops
  • Admiral Winkie
  • Dr. Longshanks
  • Buster McThunderstick
  • Helmet (or Helmut?) Wang
  • Captain Shafts-a-Lot
  • Prince Everhard III
  • Colonel Poker
  • The Bald Avenger

Bravo. Take heart and let this instructional commercial be an informative lesson to you guys out there. If you need it.