Sportress of Blogitude

Wait, What? Rob Gronkowski tells Dan Patrick that he doesn’t ‘crush beers’

New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski played an integral role in the Pats’ 29-26 overtime victory over the New York Jets on Sunday, hauling down six catches, two of which were touchdowns.

The Gronk made an appearance on “The Dan Patrick Show” on Monday to discuss the win as well as a myriad of other topics, including whether or not Tom Brady ever gets mad at him as well as if the renowned party animal would ever “crush beers” with Patrick.

First, Gronkowski denied that the fiery quarterback that leads the Patriots offense ever gets mad at him:

When do you know Tom Brady is mad at you?

“He’s never really mad at you. He’s just a great leader. [Dan Patrick: Oh come on! There’s gotta be times when he’s mad or angry with you!] You just gotta keep working hard and playing hard. You gotta just give your best and that’s all you can ask for.”

Find that hard to believe. But the most head-scratching, unbelievable thing to come out of Gronk’s mouth was during a discussion about how long Patrick would last hanging out with Gronkowski and his brothers:

How long would I last if I hung out with you and your brother for the weekend?

“Probably an hour. [Laughs]“

But what would we do if I am hanging out with the Gronkowski’s?

“Whatever, good times. If it’s the offseason? Just kick it and play some backyard sports. Definitely some basketball in the backyard. Get a workout in, a little running, and just chill.”

When would we start crushing beers though?

“Not sure. I don’t do those things. [Dan Patrick: You don’t crush beers?] No. [Dan Patrick: OK, I will. What other brothers would join me?] Call them up and ask them.” 

Yeah, right. Gronkowski doesn’t crush beers. Maybe that is the case, on a technicality, because it sure looks like he’ll bong the heck out of them:

The above photo of Gronkowski appearing to bong a beer was taken back in March in South Padre Island, Texas during spring break.

Also refuting Gronk’s claim that he eschews brews is the matter of the extensive profile piece that ran in Sports Illustrated in September. In it, a story about how Gronk shotgunned beers at a 21st birthday party he was paid “five figures” to attend.

And then there’s his post-ESPYs game of “Crossys” (urine sword-fighting). And this. And a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, I’m not buying it, because if Gronk wasn’t crushing beers during these acts of debauchery, well, who knows what to think of this wildman.

[Sports Radio Interviews]