Sportress of Blogitude

College Football

Comedy Central’s Key & Peele lampoon football player introductions (video)

First off, full disclosure: I haven’t gotten around to watching much of Key & Peele on Comedy Central despite all the great things I have heard about it, so it should come as no surprise that I have just come upon this hilarious sketch that features the comedians posing as players providing their ridiculous names and school affiliations during lineup introductions for a college football all-star game.

You see, after happening upon this video on Dr. Saturday, I realized too late that this sketch has been on the interwebs for almost a month and I had already spent the time transcribing my favorite made-up names from the sketch. So, here I was presented with one of two options: Either to finish up the write-up even though it’s dated or throw away those valuable minutes that would have been wasted if I elected not to soldier on.

So, there you go. Enjoy this somewhat old video. Perhaps like me, you haven’t seen it, either.

 Some of my personal favorites:

East Squad:

  • Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace
  • D’Squarius Green, Jr.
  • Jackmerius Tacktheritrex
  • D’Jasper Probincrux III
  • Javaris Jamar Javarsion-Lamar
  • Davoin Shower-Handel
  • Hingle McCringleberry
  • LaCarpertron Dookmarriot
  • Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon

 West Squad:

  • D’Glester Hardunkichud
  • Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splat
  • Beezer Twelve Washingbeard
  • Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter
  • Sequester Grundelplith M.D.
  • Scoish Velociraptor Maloish
  • T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V
  • (The Player Formerly Known As Mousecloth)

And lastly, the sketch closes with the following player:


[H/T Dr. Saturday]