Sportress of Blogitude

Turns out those Eva Longoria pregnancy rumors you never heard about aren’t true

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the budding relationship between New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria generated a lot of headlines since the rumors began floating some time ago up through Longoria’s admission that the two were involved. A high-profile quarterback playing in New York dating a high-profile actress is exactly the kind of fodder gossip columns drool over.

If that wasn’t enough, unbeknownst to me and probably most of you as well, unsubstantiated rumors have been floating about the gossipsphere that Eva Longoria is pregnant with Sanchez’s baby. I guess that would explain the Sanchez’s early season struggles, but it turns out, at least according to one member of Longoria’s inner circle, those rumors are patently false.

The pregnancy rumors were spawned by an “insider” who supposedly reported to Star magazine that the couple “already have a little one on the way.” In a story stupidly entitled, “BABY TOUCHDOWN!”, Star reports that this alleged insider has first-hand knowledge of the comings and goings of Sanchez and Longoria, including how the two were “recently spotted browsing Park Avenue apartments — specifically, those with extra room for a nursery.” An extra room??? For millionaires? Rich people never purchase residences with extra rooms!

Additionally, this insider — what does it take to become an insider by the way? Online courses like the ones Shannon Doherty is taking? — and Star also allege that Longoria has been “dropping hints” about being pregnant  and the insider adds that the actress is presently “kick-starting a new healthy regime and giving up alcohol.” Once again, reaching? A healthy, attractive and in-shape actress who depends on her looks is doing healthy things and abstaining from the booze? Consider my mind sufficiently blown.

But not so fast, Star and its purported “insider.” Side note: can you believe Star published something that might not be true? Mind blowed yet again.

TMZ reports that a Longoria rep told them that “Rumors of the couple being pregnant are false and absolutely not true.”

So there you have it. As far as this sordid story is concerned, I’m going to side with the rep and not Star. Unless this pregnancy story somehow involves the news that it inspired Tim Tebow to adopt Bat Boy in a fit of jealousy, it’s hard to take this tabloid story seriously.

But, as alluded to above, if Longoria were indeed pregnant, that would certainly explain how Sanchez has been performing well below expectations thus far this season. Well, either that or he’s just not a very good quarterback. Then again, I guess we’ll have to wait to see what Joe Theismann’s take is on Sanchez. That guy? He knows all.