Sportress of Blogitude

Glen Davis on what the Magic will miss about Dwight Howard: ‘His farting ability’

In a telling example of what players for the Orlando Magic undoubtedly will experience throughout the upcoming NBA season, discussion about the team and interactions with the media since the opening of training camp have revolved around the troublesome exodus of Dwight Howard from Orlando and his cross-country trip to Los Angeles to become a member of the Lakers.

According to a series of tweets from Josh Robbins, a reporter from The Orlando Sentinel, Glen “Big Baby” Davis decided to have a little fun with all the Dwight Howard talk. When asked what the team would miss most of the absence of Howard, Davis appeared to have a gas by making the following flatulent statements:

Yeah, I can see that, for sure. Howard definitely seems like the kind of guy who enjoys letting ’em rip. And thanks to the research by Game On!, there is a historical evidence of Howard’s affinity for blowing gas out of his ass. From a 2009 story in Sports Illustrated (via The Orlando Sentinel):

“He (Howard) fools around at practice, during press conferences and during shootaround, where Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has had to institute a no-flatulence rule because, as forward Rashard Lewis says, ‘Dwight really likes to cut the cheese.’ “

Ha. Cut the cheese. One of my favorite fart terms. “Squeeze cheese” works, too. How about “floating an air biscuit”? Solid, as well. Describing a fart and denying it by saying you’ve “stepped on a duck” or “there must be some barking spiders around here” are always great go-to fart references. But really, there are far too many to mention.

But in all seriousness, given that air quality issues are frequently mentioned when discussing Southern California, Howard might want to put a cork in it — literally — or he’ll just be contributing to L.A.’s already-troubling smog problem.