Jerry Jones makes his son-in-law clean his glasses for him (animated GIF)
Jerry Jones is filthy stinking rich. He is also something of an egomaniac. And when you put those two things together and toss in a few other character flaws — like enjoying the act of belittling people by making them perform menial, personal tasks — on top of egomania, you have evidence that the Dallas Cowboys owner, at least on one occasion, has his son-in-law clean his glasses for him. I mean, what billionaire cleans his own glasses, for crying out loud? A task more fitting of the bourgeois, I say, although I doubt someone who has risen through the social and financial ranks to be worthy of being Double-J’s son-in-law probably isn’t of the lower classes, but I didn’t see anyone befitting that societal designation in his owner’s booth, so he went with the person who he likely abhorred the most.
At first, the man was unidentified and most assumed he was some kind of personal attendant or assistant, but the super-sleuthing by The Big Lead has revealed that the man is none other than Jerry’s son-in-law, Shy Anderson. Hey, if all you have to do is clean some lenses every once in a while in exchange of the honor of basking in Jerry Jones’ opulent greatness, well, some things are just worth it. I’d suggest getting rid of the lenses altogether, a la Dwyane Wade.
Further, you don’t even want to know what Double-J makes Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett clean. I’ll give you a hint, it begins with “Reusable suposs” and ends with “itory applicator.” And Garrett isn’t even afforded the luxury of utilizing a handkerchief, either.
What? Even Jerry Jones gets bound-up every once in a while. It’s probably all that Papa John’s he’s eating.