Sportress of Blogitude

Just so you know, Kris Humphries claims he did not give that chick the Herp

If you look up ‘Human Punch Line” in the dictionary, this is the photo next to the definition

The big gossipy news item of the last 24 hours or so where TMZ sleaze and legitimate (?) sports reporting greet each other in a somewhat slippery, slimy and definitely off-putting embrace is the news that a lawsuit has been filed by a woman named Kayla Goldberg, who alleges she contracted herpes after a sexual encounter in 2010 with Kris Humphries, the Brooklyn Nets star player and soon-to-be ex-husband (someday, eventually) of Kim Kardashian.

Goldberg alleges in her lawsuit that she engaged in a sexual encounter with Humphries on or about Aug. 31, 2010 after meeting at the Trousdale night club in Los Angeles. Afterward, the two allegedly went back to his hotel room, where they had sex multiple times, including oral sex, and during at least one act, Humprhies did not wear a condom.

A week later, Goldberg says she learned she had contracted the Herp. She is suing for sexual battery — arguing that Humphries knew he had the STD — emotional distress and fraud and is seeking unspecified damages.

The rest of the tawdry details now known, including how Humphries intends to fight back against these outrageous, egregious, preposterous claims that assert that the basketball player engaged in lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous behavior (thanks, Jackie Chiles), by way of (via TMZ):

But Gossip Cop is now told Humphries is fighting back.

His rep tells us the claim that he gave her herpes is “completely bogus.”

According to Humphries’ people, Goldberg’s attorney reached out to the ball player’s lawyer last winter — during his NBA contract negotiations — and demanded $24 million, noting the young woman wouldn’t “take anything less than $1 million,” or she’d go public.

Humphries is “100 percent sure she did not contract [herpes] from him,” says his rep, and refused to entertain her multimillion-dollar demands.

What’s particularly notable in Goldberg’s papers is that there are four other unnamed defendants, whom she claims may have given her herpes.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. So, she’s suing five total men, alleging that one of them is the guy who gave her herpes? It’s like an STD-inspired episode of The Bachelorette, only worse.

Okay, it’s not worse.