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(Sigh) ESPN did a ‘Tale of the Tape’ between Kobe Bryant and a real Black Mamba (pic)

So, Kobe Bryant’s celebrated his 34th birthday on Thursday, and, as they are wont to do, ESPN attempted to zany and irreverent by doing a “Tale of the Tape” between Kobe, a/k/a The Black Mamba, and a real-live black mamba. You know, for kicks.

While it seems like an exercise in futility to actually break down ESPN’s breakdown — and even much less so does the graphic warrant it — but might interject one observation?

The Tale of the Tape lists Kobe Bryant as a carniovre? I’m no expert in human biology, nor in the classification of mammalian dietary habits, but unless Kobe’s sole means of sustenance comes from meat, my hypothesis is Los Angeles Lakers star should be classified as an omnivore.

It’s all just a bunch of nonsense that ESPN routinely does to give their graphics department and SportsCenter¬†interns something to do, but there had to be a more, you know, sports-themed way to pay tribute to the date of Kobe’s birth.

All I know is I can’t wait to Dennis Rodman’s birthday. The “Tale of the Tape” breakdown between Rodman and a real worm will probably be quite the treat.

Science!

[via reddit]