Sportress of Blogitude

Jackie Chiles wouldn’t have taken this burned butt lawsuit against the Cowboys

Granted, Jackie Chiles is a fictional character but let us not dither over such trivial details. The fact remains that if Mr. Chiles were somehow a real-life attorney possessing the same scheming mentality, it’s doubtful that even he would have been able to hold his nose enough to sign on to advocate for this woman and her frivolous lawsuit.

Jennelle Carrillo, of Cleburne, Texas, is suing the Dallas Cowboys organization for negligence after she suffered third-degree burns on her buttocks after sitting on a black bench outside Cowboys Stadium on a 100-degree day in August, 2010 while waiting to attend a Blue & Silver scrimmage football game inside the stadium. The injuries were so severe that she had to undergo skin grafts.


Part of the lawsuit, filed in Tarrant County civil court, states specifically, “The bench was uncovered and openly exposed to the extremely hot August sun. The combination of the nature of the black, marble bench and hot sunlight caused the bench to become extremely hot and unreasonable dangerous.”

The suit goes on to state that the stadium didn’t warn Carrillo or others about hot bench dangers and that there were no signs posted warning that the bench was hot.

Wash said his client suffered mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement as a result of her wounds.

The facts of the case are indeed horrible and what the woman suffered is terrible, but personal responsibility has to be taken into account in some capacity. For instance, how long did she sit on the bench after realizing it was burning hot? I’m certainly no burn expert, but I find it hard to believe that even a black, marble bench with the Texas sun beating down upon it could be so hot to cause instantaneous third-degree burns. It stands to reason that Ms. Carrillo sat far too long on the bench to suffer such a horrific and painful injury.

In fact, this reminds me of how if you put a frog into a boiling pot of water it will jump out of it immediately, but if you place the frog in a cold pot and gradually increase the temperature, the frog will just sit there as it slowly boils to death. So, in a way, this woman is no smarter than a frog.

But in the end, the courts will decide the woman’s relative intelligence and the merits of her claims. Meanwhile, if Jackie Chiles were trying the case, I imagine he would be paging Suzie on the intercom and saying, “Call Dr. Bison. Set up an appointment for Ms. Carillo here. Tell him it’s from me.”

And Jennelle, no matter what the Maestro tells you, do not put the balm on!