Sportress of Blogitude

Panthers defensive end Thomas Keiser ingests Chia Pet seeds to remain hydrated

For a reason known only to him, Carolina Panthers defensive end Thomas Keiser admitted to staff writer Max Henson that he mixes chia seeds – yes, those same seeds that came in packets that you mixed with water and spread all over your Chia Pet to set forth into action the transformation that resulted in the “Pottery That Grows!” — with water and drinks it during training camp.

Wait. What?

Keiser claims ingesting the seeds helps him remain hydrated during those grueling two-a-days when the sun is beating down on the practice field. He totes around a gallon-sized water jug with the chia seeds floating in it (nasty) and despite the hard time he gets from his teammates, insists that he has stumbled upon a sure-fire re-hydration routine.

“People ask me all the time if it’s the same stuff that’s in Chia Pets. It is. I’ll have probably two or three tablespoons in somewhere between two-thirds and a full gallon of water every day.

“It helps hydrate you, because it absorbs 10 times its weight in water. And instead of the water just going in your system and flushing right out, it’s going to sit in you longer.”

While it may seem bizarre and unorthodox to ingest them, chia seeds have long been used as a foodstuff and are incredibly nutritious and have numerous health benefits.

Still, despite the many benefits, most of Keiser’s teammates nevertheless give him a hard time for ingesting the seeds made famous by those cheesy commercials from the 1980s and equally cheesy terracotta figurines. Said Keiser:  “Most of the guys think I’m pretty weird for carrying that around. I just keep telling them it’s like Mike’s Magic Juice in ‘Space Jam’.”

Fair enough. But if Keiser wakes up one day and has sprouts emerging out of his scalp, well, honestly, that would be pretty cool. Ch-ch-ch-Chia!