Sportress of Blogitude

When you need a sequined Troy Polamalu basketball jersey, you head to Etsy (pic)

Much like the bevy of Jeremy Lin-related crafty items and the Tebowing Robot, Etsy has come through once again to dazzle (or horrify) us with a borderline disturbing product related to the world of sports: the Troy Polamalu Sparkly and Sequined Basketball Jersey.

Technically, the proprietor selling this particular product on Etsy calls it the “Pittsburgh Steelers Troy Polamalu Bling Sparkle Jersey.” And really, who am I to argue? This person clearly has a handle on how to properly market of their unique item. To wit:

Be the talk of the town come game day! All season long let everyone know who your team is!

Ah yes, strap on this sparkly garment, head out in public and there is no doubt that you will be the talk of the town come game day. And probably for a few days afterward as many of your town’s residents visit you in intensive care after the savage beating you are treated to while tailgating, hanging out at the neighborhood sports bar or whatever.

And I gather that the Pittsburgh Steelers — not to mention their star safety — would prefer if you kept who your favorite team is to yourself and only wear that thing in the privacy of your own home, which presumably is the attic in your parents’ garage because if this kind of item captures your fancy, there’s no way you have accomplished anything in your life, other than merging garish and gaudy fanciness with football by styling in a sequined jersey from a wholly different sport.

Retailing for $44.99 (what the what?), the Pittsburgh Steelers Troy Polamalu Bling Sparkle Jersey is a not-so-economical way to tell the world that you got problems. And love the Steelers. Perhaps a bit too much.