Sportress of Blogitude


Rugby player accused of urinating on himself to deter would-be tacklers (pic)

Photo credit: The Daily Telegraph

Australia’s Vikings rugby club sent a formal complaint letter to the Illawarra District Rugby Union accusing a player on a rival team of purposely urinating all over himself in an effort to deter would-be tacklers from getting close enough to him to take him down lest they be covered in the guy’s pee. Genius.

The pottying player in question plays for rival Avondale, and the Vikings rugby club even sent along a photo of the player that supposedly depicts the player’s pee-soaked shorts.

By far the best part of the reporting of this incident comes from The Daily Telegraph, which reveals how they got their hands on the incriminating photo:

The letter was accompanied by a photograph – subsequently leaked to The Daily Telegraph…

Heh. Leaked. Well played. Well played, indeed. And it was awfully nice of the news agency to protect the identity of the purported pisser by obscuring his face. You know, innocent until proven pee-pee and all that.

An excerpt from the letter:

“It is either evidence that the player has urinated in his shorts immediately prior to the commencement of the game, or has applied some liquid to that area of his shorts so as to provide the same inference,” Vikings president Mark McDonald wrote.

“Either way, such conduct is contrary to the spirit of the game and in contravention of items 8 and 9 of the IDRU Code of Conduct.”

It is good to know that the alleged urinary act was simply “contrary to the spirit of the game and in contravention of items 8 and 9 of the IDRU Code of Conduct,” a more generic, all-encompassing rule whereby peeing all over yourself is presumed to be frowned upon, and that there wasn’t a need for an entirely separate article of the league’s Code of Conduct to cover such transgressions. Say, hypothetical Item No. 2, entitled, “On-Pitch Peeing and Pooping Provisions and Penalties.”

[H/T Off the Bench]